Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Every Day I Fight With "SAD"

Photo by juliejordanscott via

"SAD", or social anxiety disorder, is an anxiety disorder that "makes you" dreadfully fear people. That's right, a phobia of people. I fear people. I fear what they think about me. I fear what they say about me. I fear being in the presence of people.

Social anxiety doesn't make much sense even to us that suffer from it. It's shocking to me how much of a grab this disorder has on my life. I can barely think, or write for that matter. As I'm writing this post I'm afraid I'm not using proper grammar, I'm afraid someone's going to find out "who I am" in the real world, plus I'm afraid I'll look crazy to my readers, if I even have or will ever have any (I could go on and on...). I assume most of us social phobics (social phobia is another term for social anxiety disorder) feel the same way. We're afraid of everything.  We over-analyze everything. It's almost comical, but it's really not. Not to us.

Every day is a battle for us social phobics. We can never have the freedom from our minds. A social phobic's dream is being able to "be one's self". Besides the fact we can't think properly or that we're mentally ill, we're really not that messed up. We want to live. Oh boy do we want to live. We crave socializing. We crave and want what others have socially. We envy.

But of course, we face the war of social anxiety, and the battles we never win. My goal with this blog is to gather not only social phobics, but anyone else who's suffering from a certain pain; whether it be mental illness, the loss of a loved one, your failure to succeed in something, or even financial problems...

I want to hear your story.